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Manners (12/12/07)

Dear Zelda,

I work in an office with a lady who sits across from me for eight hours a day. The problem is she eats at her desk and then talks with her mouth open and it annoys me beyond belief. Is there a subtle hint I could leave? I'm afraid if I say anything it will offend her and make it horrible to work with her. Thanks,

Kathy in Kansas

Dear Kathy in Kansas,

Remember how Dorothy had to break the news to her dog Toto in The Wizard of Oz? “Toto we’re not in Kansas anymore!” Well Kathy, you may not be in “Kansas” now. You’re in the real work-a-day world where people are people, with all their pitfalls and problems—including your co-worker’s egregious eating habits. So what’s a nice woman like you to do? You can’t super-glue her mouth shut or tell her to zip her lips, can you? In fact, it may be best to stay silent on the issue and just learn to live with it… people are incredibly sensitive when they feel judged, and that office of yours would feel mighty small if you had to share it with an angry, brooding co-worker instead of just a jovial ‘Miss-ed Manners’. Ultimately you have to make the call if it’s worth taking the risk.

If you decide to risk it, I’d take my inspiration from the Golden Rule: “do unto others,” or, in your case, have “others do unto others.” What I mean is this: I’d suggest you ask your co-worker for some advice. Tell her about your Aunt Gloria (hopefully you don’t really have one). Explain how Aunt Gloria has this terrible habit of eating and talking with her mouth open. Then turn the tables and ask your co-worker how she would address your Aunt Gloria’s issue. Most likely she’ll take you seriously, give you an answer, and at the same time reflect on the issue. AND, I’d bet my biscuits that your co-worker will think twice before she eats and talks with her mouth full of food again. However, should she revert to her old evil eating habits, just lean over and thank her for the great advice she gave you for your Aunt Gloria. Done carefully, you may be able to keep your co-worker’s tongue in check, and curb her love of see-food!

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

My problem is this. My dog, Zaharrah, licks the blankets on my bed… not a lick here and there, but licks, licks and more licks. This drives me crazy. But my husband hollers at her and hollers some more. I simply tell her to stop and, usually after 2 times, she does. I've had several bullies over the years, but I've never had this issue before. Now my bullie is here to stay. I've had many dogs before my husband and will have many after he’s gone. But tell me, why does Zaharrah do it????

Sincerely,

Hold the Licker

Dear Hold the Licker,

Tell me, just who’s in the doghouse? Is it Zaharrah, or your husband? From your question, it isn’t clear who the real culprit is, the ‘licker’ or your hollerin’ hubby.

But, I’m basically a peaceful pooch, so I’d like to offer up some advice that will hopefully help solve Zaharrah’s licker problem, halt your hubby’s hollering and bring happiness to your home. Since we dogs can’t talk, sometimes we communicate in other ways and licking is one of the ways we find we can capture your attention. Yes, we too can be neurotic! It sounds as if Zaharrah wants some TLC when bedtime rolls around and it also sounds like your hubby would rather snuggle with you than tuggle with Zaharrah. So I have two recommendations for you.

First, if it’s your attention Zaharrah needs, spend a couple of minutes before bedtime playing with her. Give her my favorite problem solver, a Kong filled with peanut butter or tuck a healthy Buddy Biscuit like Sweet Potato Madness inside the Kong. Zaharrah will be more likely to lick the tasty Kong than your blankets. When she finishes with the Kong, should she still lick your blankets, firmly tell her “NO…” and be consistent! My second suggestion is that you spray your blankets with a bit of Bitter Apple. The Bitter Apple ought to lick the problem, and your husband will have no need to holler. Soon you won’t even need to use the Bitter Apple because Zaharrah will be conditioned and will know that happiness comes quicker when she’s learned how to hold her licker. Bottoms up!

Zelda

Should my suggestions fail to solve Zaharrah’s licking problem, you need to contact her veterinarian, as the licking could be related to allergies or other medical problems.

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