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Cosmetic Surgery (02/06/08)

Dear Zelda,

I'm looking a little droopy in the face these days with crow's feet, wrinkles, etc... My age is catching up with me. I don't want to actually have surgery, but I was wondering what you can tell me about Botox. Is it dangerous? Someone said it was poison. Are there side effects?

Droopy Dolores

Dear Droopy Dolores,

Hey, wrinkles are my business. I've got 'em, I flaunt 'em, and occasionally I even find leftover food in them. I think they give me character. But I understand your feelings, and so I've done a little research on Botox for you. Of course, I'm no doctor (the AMA still isn't responding to my letters), so take this information with a grain of salt, and of course, talk to a real, trustworthy, board-certified doctor before you make any health decisions. As a dog, I'm pushing my luck giving any advice at all, but on health matters I know I'm out of my depth. That said, I'll tell you what I know, and what I think. Botulinum toxin, or Botox for short, is a potent neurotoxin (yes, that's nerve poison) that's produced by Clostridium botulinum, a bacterium that causes lethal food poisoning (botulism), often from improperly canned foods. If you're confused and spooked after reading that... join the club! And before you go raiding your grandmother's stash of questionably canned preserves, read on...

Cosmetic Botox is a purified version of this protein that is injected by a fine needle into the skin on the face around the areas that you want to tighten and smooth. Eyebrows get lifted, crow's feet fly away, and wrinkles are ironed out without the use of steam, heat, or a scalpel. Botox paralyzes your muscles, allowing them to relax and smoothen out. You can actually look younger within days, but this bacterial fountain of youth doesn't last forever (actually about 3-4 months). If you're happy with the end result, continual touch-ups are necessary to make sure your new you, stays... new. The potential side-effects of Botox apparently include headache, infections, nausea, and short-term facial symptoms like pain, drooping eyelid, redness at the injection site, and muscle weakness. Some people apparently also experience restricted movement of muscles in the injected area, causing stiffened facial expressions. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

That said, this stuff is amazingly popular, and since it was approval by the FDA in 2002, it's become the number one non-surgical cosmetic procedure in the US. So they must be doing something right. Whatever you decide, do your homework, choose a doctor carefully, and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and not because everyone else expects you to look younger. As I always say, "Whatever makes you happy!"

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

It really irks me when dog owners choose to cut off their dog's tails or ears. You're a dog, you tell me. What do you think about surgically altering a dog for cosmetic reasons alone? I own a beautiful Doberman, and he has floppy ears and a long tail. He hasn't complained yet and they don't seem to get in his way.

De-Tails De-Tails De-Tails

Dear De-Tails De-Tails De-Tails,

Unfortunately for us pets, the decision to cut or not to cut lies solely with our owners, and unless there is an obvious reason to surgically alter a dog's appearance, we are at the mercy of their whims. Of course, there are many breeds that suffer from genetic problems that require surgical correction, and often the line between the two gets blurred: surgery is done initially to fix the problem, but while they're there they also make some nips and tucks to enhance the dog's appearance. Or surgery is done to prevent some hypothetical problem that may come up in the future, like ear infections in floppy-eared dogs. The medical need for such preventive measures has probably declined over the decades as we and our dogs have gotten cleaner, and as our ability to treat any infections that do arise has improved. But the tradition and the breed standards often remain from an earlier time when it was more important to prevent these sort of things.

Heck, even us supermodel bulldogs have had to get a little help once in a while... I, for instance, had to have my tail cropped because it was so twisted it was trying to push its way into an "exit only" location not far from where it was growing (true story, I'm embarrassed to admit). Lucky for me, my owner had the surgery performed on me right after they recognized the problem, and everything came out fabulously in "the end."

For many dogs, however, people continue to surgically alter specific breeds because, for example in the case of the Doberman, a cropped tail and pointed ears have become the standard appearance, and people feel the need to conform to these standards. Is it right? Is it wrong? Only your beloved Doberman could tell you, and unfortunately we speak a different language. Personally, I wouldn't want any of my friends to be altered for purely cosmetic reasons, but then again, I don't know many who've had it done, so I can't speak from much experience. At the very least, the procedure should be as quick and painless as possible, because the idea of a dog suffering for the benefit of an owner's aesthetics is definitely a hard one to swallow.

To me, a floppy-eared, long-tailed Doberman sounds absolutely fetching! Send us a photo of your dog and we'll put it on my “friends” page.

Keep your floppers flappin' and your tail a-draggin'!


Zelda

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Thanksgiving

Here's a sneak peek at next week's column:

Dear Zelda,
Like you, I am constantly struggling with my weight. This time of year is always the hardest for me...


Due to the high volume of questions Zelda cannot offer individual responses.

Check in with us every Wednesday to see if your question was answered. If you don’t see it... don’t get discouraged. There’s a chance it could end up on another week's column!

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