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 Petty Things (4/02/08) Dear Zelda, My boyfriend and I do this thing where we both will refuse, until the last minute, to empty our trash can in the kitchen. It becomes a waiting game that turns into mounding garbage that turns into an argument. Every time! He thinks he always empties it...I think that I always empty it (and I do). The bizarre thing is, we share all the rest of the housework, but emptying the garbage becomes a test of wills. It takes 5 minutes to empty the stupid garbage...why is he so stubborn???? This Stinks! Dear This Stinks, That Stinks! It sounds to me like you shouldn't be asking, "Why is he so stubborn," but "Why are we so stubborn?" You manage to cooperate on all the rest of the chores, but taking out the trash has become a real "stinking point" in your relationship! For whatever reason, this has become a contest of wills between the two of you; fortunately, there's a simple solution. Start by printing out a sheet that has both of your names on it, alternating back and forth, all the way down the sheet. Post the sheet on the side of the fridge and keep a pen close by, and make a rule that the trash has to be taken out at least once a week. You can flip a coin to see who goes first, and that person will be the lucky dog who gets to empty the first round of garbage. From that day forward it's just a matter of empty and cross, empty and cross. You eliminate your pet peeve, and you eliminate the argument of who empties the garbage most (we really do believe it was you). Assuming you trust your boyfriend not to cross his name out prematurely when you’re not looking (and if you don't, then we have some more serious problems to talk about!), this should be a pretty easy fix to a pretty petty problem. After all, it takes about five minutes to empty the garbage, and let's just say that you have to empty it once a week; there are 10,080 minutes in a week, meaning it takes up less than 0.005% of your time. Although we all value our time, anyone would agree that's really a small price to pay for a fresher-smelling relationship. Don't refuse the refuse! Zelda Dear Zelda, I have a new boyfriend and my dog, Brutus, starts barking whenever my boyfriend kisses me. This doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's starting to get annoying. It may sound "petty," but it is bothering us. Zelda how can I stop his bad habit? Smoocher Dear Smoocher, It sounds like Brutus is just being protective, and he may not understand what your boyfriend is doing when he moves in for a smooch. You could always try to convince your boyfriend to sit down with Brutus and explain the facts of life, or more realistically, get your boyfriend to just spend some one-on-one time playing with Brutus. As long as your boyfriend remains a stranger to him, Brutus is going to be suspicious; the more time they spend together, the more comfortable Brutus will be, and the less likely he'll be to regard your boyfriend as a threat and raise a ruckus. The other, more immediate solution (while Brutus is still getting used to the new guy) is to just keep Brutus occupied with something he likes. Keep HIM busy, and you and your boyfriend can get... ah, well...busy. While your first instinct may be to put Brutus in another room to keep him quiet, this may or may not actually work, and it will definitely make him associate your boyfriend's visits with getting locked up... not exactly the best way to make him take a liking to your new beau. Instead, just get him a toy that will keep him chewing for a long time. Start by checking out your local pet store; we particularly like the Kong brand dog toys and snacks. I'm partial to the Jawrobics Kong Dog Toy (try that one 5 times fast). Kongs can be filled and re-filled with peanut butter, soft cheese, treats, or Kong filler. We always have a few of them on hand (we fill up the extras and keep them in the freezer), and it's good to have them ready, so Brutus keeps his cool while you two heat things up. Also, read the response, below, sent us after last week’s column on ‘chewing’. Don't worry, with a little bit of time and a few bribes, he'll soon forget all about you. Kiss your troubles goodbye! Zelda Dear Zelda, I just read today’s column (03/26/08) about Vegas, the bulldog, and her problem with chewing her bed. I know from experience that bulldogs need bones to chew on and they need them bad. Our breeder said to avoid rawhide and to use Nylabones. Now these bones can be expensive but they last a long time and are great for strong chewers and dogs that get bored easily. We have purchased many in the last 5 years of owning our English Bulldog and he will chew on them for hours. I do suggest having at least 10 different types and shapes. We keep out 4 to 6 different ones in a spot that is his. There are many sizes and shapes for dogs who get bored easily. Our dog even likes the softer ones that aren’t recommended for strong chewers but he likes them and will suck on them like a pacifier and fall asleep. We try and rotate the bones after a few weeks; we wash them (in the dishwasher) and put them away so that when we bring them out again he thinks that he has new ones. He has, at times, still chewed up a blanket or two and has even tried our walls a couple of times. (If he ever chewed up a bed he wouldn’t get one any longer in my house. When he starts to chew on his bed pillow we put it away for awhile.) I know that you get a lot of emails but I hope that this might help someone who may not know that such a bone is available. I have told many friends about them for they hate the mess of rawhide or real bones and from my understanding they are not safe for dogs anyway. From someone who understands in Wisconsin Share this column with a friend! |
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